


Scattered dreams

by runningfromrealitytoanime



Series: Stories Given to You [3]
Category: Given (Anime), Given (Manga)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-11
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-12-09 06:47:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20990579
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/runningfromrealitytoanime/pseuds/runningfromrealitytoanime
Summary: He knew he shouldn't be doing this.He knew he would be breaking people's heart.But thats what he wanted to do.





	Scattered dreams

**Author's Note:**

> I felt so shocked when I first learned how Yuki died and was so heartbroken about how Mafuyu had to go through everything on his own before meeting Uenoyama. OMG the song that Mafuyu hummed was so sad, even before the lyrics were added, I could feel my heart being shaken to the core when the notes hit me.
> 
> This is on Yuki's last moments and what he could be possibly thinking before he committed suicide.

He gulped down yet another of those disgusting alcoholic drinks his father used to take before taking it out on him and his mother.

How much he had hated the smell, how he hated the way the stench always seemed to cling onto his body even after he scrubbed himself clean, trying to wiped away the scent of the man who rained hell on them.

Yet here he was, drinking can after can, gulping it down as though he was taking a drink of water.

He had gone a little mad by swiping some of the beer his mother kept in the fridge earlier in the day and refused to come down to dinner, not wanting to see anyone after what happened a few days ago. Now, he wasn't able to take it any longer.

He was hurting everyone around him so badly. He could feel it in his bones.

He forced Hiiragi and Yagi to join his band even though both of them had seemed reluctant to do so. Yet there they were, Hiiragi singing and Yagi playing the drums while he slaved away trying to get himself a guitar, which he finally managed to buy after working so many shifts on a part-time job.

All so he could catch Mafuyu's heart.

So why did he reject him the way he did the other day?

It was just a stupid fight. He knew it was stupid. It was something over how he seemed to be spending more time over the band than with Mafuyu. 

_"You're my boyfriend, aren't you?! Why are you spending time playing the guitar when you suck at it?!"  
_

_"Huh?! I'm trying to play the best music there is!"_

_"Then why don't you ask me to come or something?"_  
  


_"I don't want you to be around!"_

_"Why... why do you leave me alone?!"_

_"I'm.. I'm..."_

_"Then... would you die for me then?!"_

It was so stupid. Mafuyu hardly ever talked but to hear those words coming out of his mouth, it hurt him to the core. Mafuyu, the sweet, quiet boy who was beaten into silence by the man who called himself his father said those words to him.

Yuki always wondered why he got along so well with Mafuyu. He was loud, extroverted, always hanging around with the crowd, being the clown or the class. The opposite to his name, which meant winter.

Mafuyu was introverted, silent and always lost in his own world. Until Yuki came in and opened a door to a new one.

They never said anything about being in a relationship but yet they went out as though they were. Everyone acknowledged it, even their mothers seemed fine with it.

They went on small dates, Yuki complaining most of the time about how lame some of them were when Mafuyu pointed out that it was his idea.

How many times Yuki had dragged Mafuyu to all ends to the city just to make everything his first.

Their first kiss in the classroom.

The first date to the beach.

Their first time in the bedroom, alone.

How many times had Yuki sacrificed his precious time to make life better for Mafuyu?  
  


_Will you die for me?_

"Of course I will, you idiot," he groaned as he downed more booze, smacking his lips as he looked at the red guitar lying on the floor beside him. The red surface of the wood shone a little in the darkness, as though laughing as Yuki for being an idiot for even trying to use it.

_"You're not good with the guitar. You want to impress your boyfriend but you abandoned him instead. You dragged your childhood friends into this mess."_

"No..."

_"You're an insecure person who needs someone to hold him up. So you chose the one person who wouldn't resist, the one boy who was in the same shit as you to begin with. You're willing to drag him into your dark world just to make yourself happy."_

""NO!"

_"Yoshida Yuki is a selfish tyrant who pretends to be in love with his best friend just to make him stay close to him."_

_"Shut up!"_

Yuki pressed his hands to his ears, trying to clap out the sound. He wish he wasn't hearing those words. He wasn't hearing them.

He wasn't a fraud. He loved Mafuyu with all his heart. He would do anything for him.

Anything.

Slowly, Yuki unraveled the tie around his neck, his hand moving to pull it away. Slowly he grabbed the chair and climbed on top of it, his hands moving to tie the tie onto the ceiling fan as he felt himself feel suprisingly calm.

Why was he so calm?

_"Will you die for me?!"_ Mafuyu's cries rang in his mind as Yuki smiled sadly, his hands finishing the knot as he slowly raised the noose to his neck, the soft material of the tie kissing his throat, leaving him to shiver as he thought of how Mafuyu had kissed him for the first time.

How he wished he could be with Mafuyu forever.

His first friend.

His first love.

His first for many things.

This is the right thing. He didn't want to be a burden to him anymore. He will set him free, let him roam the earth to do as he pleased. Mafuyu was a kind boy, who didn't deserved to be shackled with a wild child like him. 

As he stood on the chair, his hands held onto the tie before he finally kicked the chair from under him, his legs kicking the air as he felt the air getting knocked out of his lungs. It hurt so much, he could see spots in his vision as he felt the blood stop flowing in his brain, his mind slowly fading as he heard something rising from the depths of his memory.

It was the song he had first heard Mafuyu singing a while ago when he had been in his room, after Yuki had come out from a shower. He had been sitting on the bed, his eyes staring out of the window watching the leaves falling as he hummed under his breath.

_La la la la. La la la la la. La la, la la. La la, la la la._

"Mafuyu," he whispered as a single tear ran down his cheek, his final breath leaving his mouth as he felt himself rise to the sky.

_"Sorry Mafuyu, for leaving you like this."_


End file.
